Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
