White coat. Heels.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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