I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
PANTIES FOUND
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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