i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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