No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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