when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
