Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.

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(630): View more from Illinois

just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

where's my purse there's an important taco in it

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(810): View more from Michigan

I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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(941): View more from Florida

I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.

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