Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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