Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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