Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I will be naked everywhere
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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