He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
