i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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