You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
