Christians are straight up FREAKS
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize