The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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