Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
