if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize