I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
