NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
