nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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