We're facebook friends in real life
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
