I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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