Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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