He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this will be a night to untag.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
