I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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