Don't you send me to vm
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
