tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
