I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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