Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
