so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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