We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
