I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
