We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
