I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
