OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
