i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
