There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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