Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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