we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
