Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
