Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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