Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
