Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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