Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
