a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
