Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am available for nakedness
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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