Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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