How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
