what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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