You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
