problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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