i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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