his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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