I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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