so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
