K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
